Many of my clients are worried that they will attract another NPD into their life after getting through the trauma of being with one and finally ending the toxic relationship. Being in a non-narcissist relationship typically feels emotionally healthy, secure, and reciprocal. While no relationship is perfect, there are clear signs that you’re not dealing with narcissistic traits like manipulation, gaslighting, or emotional exploitation. Here are key signs you’re in a non-narcissist relationship:
1. Emotional Safety
- You feel safe expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs without fear of ridicule or retaliation.
- You are not walking on eggshells.
2. Mutual Respect
- Your boundaries are acknowledged and respected.
- Differences in opinion are accepted without it becoming a personal attack.
3. Accountability
- Your partner takes responsibility for their mistakes and makes amends when needed.
- There’s no constant blame-shifting or denial.
4. Empathy and Compassion
- Your partner shows genuine concern for your feelings and well-being.
- They try to understand your perspective, especially when you’re struggling.
5. Healthy Communication
- Disagreements lead to productive conversations, not explosions or shutdowns.
- You both listen to each other without dominating or controlling the dialogue.
6. Consistency Over Time
- Their words match their actions, and they don’t flip between love and withdrawal.
- You don’t experience emotional whiplash.
7. Shared Power
- Decisions are made together, not dictated by one person.
- You feel like equals, not one person constantly giving in.
8. Support for Your Growth
- Your partner celebrates your successes and encourages your personal development.
- They don’t feel threatened by your growth or independence.
9. Trust and Honesty
- You don’t constantly question their motives or truthfulness.
- Secrets and manipulation are absent.
10. Stable Self-Esteem
- Your partner doesn’t rely on praise, admiration, or control to feel good about themselves.
- They don’t need to be the center of attention or “the best” at everything.
**** Try to remember that being with an NPD creates additional dopamine for the brain. This is where the addiction to a narcissist is created. When dating someone that doesn’t meet the criteria for a narcissist there will be more harmony and respect in the relationship, but it can also feel like it is missing something…….because you aren’t being flooded with dopamine. You have conditioned yourself to be okay with ‘crumbing’ and accept little from your NPD. The truth is you’re always ready for the shoe to drop, walking on eggshells, and when there is a nice comment or a sliver of happiness, you feel like you received the whole loaf of bread. You are flooded with dopamine. This is not normal and not healthy. Be aware of this as you begin to date other people that are healthy and balanced.
