Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Its Different Types
Telling someone they are a narcissist has become a common buzz word used for someone that is arrogant and selfish, but understanding it in the clinical sense is very important. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a complex mental health condition, characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Despite their apparent confidence, individuals with NPD often have a fragile self-esteem and are highly sensitive to criticism. While narcissism exists on a spectrum, pathological narcissism significantly impacts personal relationships, work, and overall well-being.
Core Traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Individuals with NPD exhibit several key traits, including but not limited to:
• A grandiose sense of self-importance
• A constant need for admiration and validation
• A sense of entitlement
• Exploitative or manipulative behavior in relationships
• A lack of empathy for others
• Envy of others or a belief that others envy them
• Arrogant or haughty behaviors and attitudes
NPD is often shaped by genetic, environmental, and psychological factors. Childhood experiences, such as excessive pampering or extreme neglect, may contribute to its development.
Different Types of Narcissism
While the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) defines a general diagnosis of NPD, researchers and clinicians recognize different subtypes of narcissism. The most commonly discussed types include:
1. Grandiose (Overt) Narcissism
This is the classic image of narcissism – individuals who are outwardly arrogant, dominant, and attention-seeking. They often:
• Display a strong sense of superiority
• Dominate conversations
• Lack empathy and manipulate others for personal gain
• Crave admiration and validation, along with the need for societal respect
Grandiose narcissists can be charismatic and successful in leadership roles, but they struggle with criticism, relationships are transactional, and they often engage in exploitative behavior.
2. Vulnerable (Covert) Narcissism
Unlike the overt narcissist, vulnerable narcissists are introverted and hypersensitive to criticism. They may:
• Exhibit low self-esteem masked by passive-aggressive behavior
• Feel victimized and unappreciated
• Harbor resentment and envy toward others’ success
• Seek reassurance and validation while avoiding direct confrontation
This type of narcissism often coexists with anxiety and depression, making it less recognizable than the grandiose type.
3. Malignant Narcissism
This is the most destructive form of narcissism, combining traits of NPD with antisocial behavior and even sadistic tendencies. Malignant narcissists:
• Show extreme aggression and paranoia
• Derive pleasure from manipulating or harming others
• Lack remorse or empathy
• Engage in deceitful and exploitative behaviors
They may exhibit traits of psychopathy and are more prone to criminal or abusive behavior.
4. Communal Narcissism
Unlike the self-serving grandiose narcissist, communal narcissists believe they are morally superior and selfless. However, their altruism is often performative. They:
• Seek admiration for their “good deeds”
• Expect recognition and praise for their generosity
• Can be condescending and judgmental toward others
Despite appearing helpful, their self-image is dependent on being perceived as a good person rather than genuinely caring for others.
5. Somatic vs. Cerebral Narcissism
• Somatic Narcissists focus on their physical appearance, attractiveness, and health. They seek validation through beauty, fitness, or sexuality.
• Cerebral Narcissists derive self-worth from their intelligence, wit, or perceived superiority in knowledge and skills.
Both types use their respective attributes to dominate and seek validation.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder exists on a spectrum, with different types manifesting in distinct ways. While some forms of narcissism are overt and aggressive, others are subtle and manipulative. Understanding these variations can help in identifying behaviors, setting boundaries, and fostering healthier interactions with individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits.
Understanding Manipulation & How it’s Used
People with NPD often use various forms of manipulation to control, dominate, or exploit others in relationships. Some of the most common manipulative tactics include:
1. Love Bombing
Love bombing is an intense phase of excessive attention, affection, and flattery used to quickly gain control over a person. It often happens at the beginning of a relationship, making the target feel special and deeply valued. However, this is usually not genuine but rather a means to establish emotional dependency. Once the narcissist feels they have secured their target, they may withdraw affection and shift to devaluation.
2. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic where the abuser distorts reality to make their victim doubt their own perceptions, memory, or sanity. Narcissists often use gaslighting to maintain control by making their victims feel confused, insecure, or overly dependent on them for the “truth.” Common gaslighting phrases include:
• “That never happened.”
• “You’re overreacting.”
• “You’re too sensitive.”
3. Sexual Manipulation
Narcissists may use sex as a tool for control rather than for emotional connection. This can manifest in different ways:
• Withholding Sex – Using intimacy as a reward or punishment.
• Over-Sexualization – Using seduction to gain favor or control.
• Infidelity & Triangulation – Creating love triangles to induce jealousy and insecurity in their partner.
4. Transactional Relationships
In many cases, narcissists engage in transactional relationships, where they view interactions as exchanges rather than genuine emotional connections. They may give love, money, or status but only in return for something they want, be it admiration, sex, control, or social status. These relationships lack true emotional intimacy because the narcissist primarily sees people as means to an end.
Dealing with narcissistic manipulation can be deeply damaging. Recognizing these tactics is an important step toward protecting yourself. Establishing firm boundaries, seeking support from a therapist, and limiting contact with a manipulative person can help break free from their influence.
Dealing with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Managing relationships with individuals who have NPD is challenging. Whether it’s your mom, dad, partner or boss, this personality disorder is the reason most of my clients see me for therapy. They have been victims of abusive behavior by a person with NPD. Often, these abusive individuals are undiagnosed, but it doesn’t take long to identify the criteria necessary to confirm this personality disorder.
What to do if you suspect someone, you’re in relationship with has NPD?
To begin with, educate yourself on NPD. Getting professional help with a therapist that is educated on NPD is vital & well worth your time. It is important for the victim to see the dysfunctional dynamic they are in and realize it’s not normal to be treated this way. Setting firm boundaries, recognizing manipulation tactics, and seeking professional guidance are essential strategies.
Therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can help those with NPD develop healthier coping mechanisms, but treatment success depends on self-awareness and willingness to change, which is very rare, since those with NPD don’t feel that there is anything wrong with them and it is always someone else’s fault. They lack accountability and are typically in the victim role. In my experience, personality disorders don’t improve and can’t be healed. Change in behavior may occur but will be short-lived and purposeful to achieve a personal goal or desire. It saddens me to say that in my opinion, NPD is a life-long sentence for the individual with this diagnosis and for those around them.
(Much more to come on NPD.)
